lauraramsay

Eng. Comp. 101

2004-12-08T08:11:00.000-05:00

Bravo Mr. Goldfine! You have succeeded! I bet you had no idea the task that lay ahead of you on that sunny autumn day in late august. This non-traditional student stepping tentatively into a time machine, backward in time 2+ decades, only to emerge into your classroom and being asked to blog, and write essays and stuff....eeek! well I've come away with some sense of .......hmmmm....a new appreciation I guess. I appreciate the old-fashioned ways, (which are truly gone, lesson #1). I appreciate consideration, (another disappearing quality in the classroom, lesson #2). I appreciate learning that I have to work extra hard and put out extra good work to earn positive feedback, (the hardest lesson so far). I am surprised that this course turned out to be a character building exercise for me, that has been the best part.
All Teachers are. I'm not trying to be profound, they just are. Sometimes they should be...and sometimes they shouldn't. I have studied the methods and attitudes of teachers more often than the class material! And you, Mr. Goldfine need a vacation! Please don't misunderstand me, I think you are definitely one of the better teachers I've had. I can actually say I learned some things in your class! I can't say the same for most. I see a glimmer of true caring for your students. It was once there and I think you want it to come back, but it's fading fast. It's time to take a sabbatical. a break, relax, chill! You try to convince your students that you're not picky, that you don't sweat the small stuff...uh-huh..... It's a lie! Take some time for yourself, the missus, and all those cute puppies that you love. You deserve it.

My 1st Job....

2004-12-03T08:09:00.000-05:00

At 17, I knew nothing of it. Work? Oh yes, that’s where my father was most of the time. My mother mentioned the word occasionally when I would ask of his wherabouts, and the more mature and responsible friends that I had, began mentioning it, (it took awhile to realize that work was also a verb ) off and on as the dawn of my 16th summer vacation came closer. I wasn’t made aware of any necessity to seek employment of my own until my social circle began to disappear on me, and the daily invitations to “hang out,” were met with questioning stares that simply said…..”Duh!?” One of many rude awakenings I had the pleasure of dealing with during the formative years of my life. Blindsided once again and left with making decisions that I wished I’d been given some guidance for making. Why do people have to work? Should I work too? Who would give me a job? It must be true that the cobbler’s child has no shoes, because I was a business owner’s child and there I was, without a lick of business sense to be found.
My friends were kind enough to explain the purpose of working to me. Extra money they said. More independence… (HUH?) And of course there was the “more responsibility” part; it was all starting to sound like too much to think about for me. The only affect of work I had ever been exposed to was a father I never saw. I argued the pros and cons of work as I saw them and my friends just hung their heads in shame for me. “Awww…” they would mumble under their breath, “poor thing, she has no idea does she?” “NO!” I wanted to shout. “You’re right! I don’t have any idea!” I would ask my mother; surely she would know something about this.
My mother was kind enough to explain why I shouldn’t have to work; apparently this work thing wasn’t universal. “It’s not for everyone.” My mother assured me apologetically. “We want you to concentrate on school, and you don’t really have to work. Don’t worry about it” she said “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be anyway, and if you can get away without having to work….well then you should!” My next stop would be my father; undoubtedly he could solve this dilemma.
My father was kind enough to explain the job search to me. Off to the shop we went, and I listened attentively as he tried to instill a work ethic in me, in less than 10 minutes. He walked me through the different departments, explaining as we went, and the various tasks I could perform that would constitute as a job. I would file, and clean, I would assist customers and pump gas when things got busy. He left me to complete the simple tasks he had suggested, and by the end of the day there were 3 gas caps lined up across the top of the pump that I had forgotten to replace after fueling. I had cleaned a car and the owner refused to pay when he came to pick it up because it was still so dirty. I attempted to wash the years of greasy fingerprints from the cash register, not realizing that the cleaner was getting inside the machine, ruining everything….. It was my first day and it was my last.
There is a lot to be said for commitment. I heard myself counseling my own teenage daughter on the value of good work ethics the other day. “Make sure it’s a job you can commit to doing for at least a few years.” I advised “It’s important to develop a dedicated work reputation, it’s a small city and by the 4th or 5th job, the references will start to know each other.” I noticed the grin she was trying to hide as she asked….”So mum, what was your first job?”

Been Awhile

2004-12-02T13:23:00.000-05:00

It's been a few weeks since a blog post from me. The wire is creeping up. It's such a busy time of year to begin with and adding a few blogs each week on top of an already insanely busy life doesn't seem like a lot.......it is. Everyone should be filled with holiday spirit, yuletide glow, good will toward men, yadda yadda yadda.....good intentions all around, but nearly impossible to pull off. Let's keep our chins up and enjoy the holidays! Once finals are over it'll get easier.......I'm sure of it!

A poll

2004-11-17T08:32:00.000-05:00

I wish this blogspot thingy was set up to conduct a poll. I would like to know how many people....all people, believe that a college student is a consumer, a patron, a customer of sorts. Is the college administration a boss? Are the professors, and all other people paid to provide a service to the consumers? An interesting question that I hadn't considered until I....a student, wrote a paper about those three elements that most businesses have, and my professor posed the question to me, "Do you think this school/college is a business? Yes! Of course.....then some hesitation as I realized I haven't ever thought about that. Hmmmm

Division essay

2004-11-17T08:22:00.000-05:00

“You don’t work for me, you work with me!” My boss corrected as I mumbled and vented about being tired of working for someone else. I gave her my sideways smirk which clearly communicated my disagreement. “So I can give you a weekly performance assessment report?” I queried sarcastically. “Well no, of course not.” She stuttered, readying herself for the impending debate she knew was looming. It was time to put all of my cards on the table. A workplace is divided into 3 categories of people, and when the lines are obvious, everyone can do their part with a clear idea of what is expected. In nearly every business, there are the employers, the employees and the consumers, each equally important to getting a job done.

The employers hold all the cards, and when they play a fair game, it can be a beautiful relationship. Every successful business begins with an awesome boss. It’s pretty typical though, to be working for someone who appears to be wonderful, and find they’re hiding a pair of aces up their sleeve. It’s incredible to work for someone who makes their employees feel like they have an equal partnership, and just as condescending for an employer to state such an untruth with a smile, obviously trying their bluff.

The successful business is carried by great employees. Hand picked and scrutinized at the original interview, an employee can make or break a company once they’re allowed into the fold. If treated with respect and led to believe that the company would be nothing without them, a good employee becomes an ace in the hole.

The consumers, buyers, patrons, will determine the long term success of any business.
They are the rules of the game, or at least they should be allowed to determine the rules. When a patron feels like they are always right, whether they really are or not, there is true success.

Attempting to run a business is always a gamble, but as long as there’s a complete deck of cards and the game players are working as a team…..it can work. The key is to give everyone involved the opportunity to give a “weekly performance assessment report” or better yet, no reports at all.

Time flies when you're having fun!

2004-11-10T14:37:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe, but we're almost there! Less than 5 weeks of school left in the semester! It seems like we just got started. Well, it's seems that way to me at least. I do see many of my fellow classmates moving about campus in a zombie-like state, behaving as though someone tricked them somehow. As if passing test scores, completed (and passed in) homework and class attendance are a new concept, and if they'd only known.......well then their grades would be much better! Hopefully everyone will be back next semester with a new and brighter outlook on the whole college experience.

Process essay

2004-11-10T14:25:00.000-05:00

Writing the process essay was fun, although when I finished and read what I'd written, I realized that anyone bored enough to be actually reading it, probably wouldn't be able to follow most of the process. I think sometimes, we tend to get too close to some things, and that changes how we see them or relate them to others. Assumptions are tricky and I'm pretty sure I assumed some stuff and even after "sleeping on it," I didn't change much. It's good to challenge a potential reader, and maybe the questions that may arise from reading my essay, would prompt someone to go searching for more information....that's always a good thing.

A Day Off

2004-11-04T09:22:00.000-05:00

Do you suppose George Bush and John Kerry are taking the day off? Don't you think they deserve to? I think I'm busy. I'm always doing something, but my level of busy-ness can't be anything compared to theirs! Imagine what they've been through over the past several months! All those germ infested hands to shake, Yuck! The painted on smiles and forced small talk must wreak havoc on a persons stress level. Months and months of getting up early and going to bed late, traveling all over the country protected by men in black suits carrying Glocks, worrying every day that you'll be snuffed out by some paid mercenary, Al Quaida or a fanatical so-called American....no stress there. I think the American people should throw a party for both of them, and their families. It would be nice to thank them for the true sacrifices they've made to their health and to the people who have supported them through the whole mess, ahhhh...campaign.
Just a thought.

My Brother-in-laws book

2004-11-02T14:56:00.000-05:00

http://markedwardhall.com
I wanted to post the link to visit this web site and see his book that was just released, as well as the book he'll be publishing soon. I just got an autographed copy that I've slated to read during our holiday break from school. Can't wait!

Writing the contrast essay

2004-11-02T14:44:00.000-05:00

I took this course for my own enjoyment. I love to write. The contrast essay was fun and easy. It literally poured out of me. Now if I can apply all these little hidden lessons that Mr. Goldfine is packaging these silly, (no disrespect intended!) little assignments in, I'll be doing well!

Contrast Essay

2004-10-29T07:35:00.000-05:00

“Oh you poor woman.” I’ve heard it time and time again. Ever since the birth of daughter number 2, and through the stages of girliness that have occurred with the raising of the little ladies. It seems as if the common opinion on the matter is …”ICK!.....girls suck! They’re SO whiney, and needy, and they scream really loud ALL the time, oh you poor wretch, I wouldn’t wish your fate on anyone! Just wait ‘til they become teenagers!” Well we’ve made it through and it really hasn’t been quite that bad. Through my decades of owning and operating a daycare, I’ve learned that there are just as many whiny, wimpy little boys out there as whiny, wimpy girls. I truly wanted a boy child of my own, but as fate would have it, my mission was to learn that there seem to be just as many differences between two daughters as one would expect between a daughter and a son. My girls are polar opposites in every way. Their physical attributes, their taste in clothing and their approach to life are commonly compared, and referred to as day and night.

The gene pool is so cool; it’s like a bag of scrabble tiles. Throw in all the separate pieces, shake it up and Voila! One unique kid. You’d think there would be some similarities between two unique kids if you’re using all the same tiles right? Wrong. Jade, my eldest, is a petite 5’ 2”, 110lbs soaking wet, brown hair, green eyes….cute, (which she hates to be referred to as, she would prefer beautiful.) Nia, my youngest daughter, is 5’ 8”, 145lbs, blonde hair, blue eyes…beautiful, (her face turns red and she disagrees vehemently every time anyone even suggests she’s even a little bit pretty.) Most people, upon meeting them, wouldn’t even believe that they’re sisters.

Jade spent the first 10 years of her life in dresses. She refused to wear pants…..they squeezed her legs….(it’s funny now). Imelda Marcos would be jealous of her shoe collection and there have always been accessories to match any outfit, as opposed to being able to count on one hand the amount of times Nia has had a dress on…..Her clothing usually consisted of some type of uniform, either softball or maybe a Gi, almost always filthy dirty, and she wouldn’t put on a pair of shoes until she started Kindergarten, and then we had to bribe her.

Jade will always stick her toe in, twirl it around a little bit, test the temperature, then decide if she should go swimming or not. Which bathing suit should she wear? What if the hair gets wet? What if the water is polluted? Has anyone tested the water lately? There may be high levels of mercury you know! It’s all about the research for her. It’s her approach to nearly every task she has encountered. Her sister on the other hand jumps in with both feet. Not a bit of concern over temperature, hair, or what she may or may not be wearing at the time. She got caught skinny-dipping at a Baptist summer camp….she was 12 and couldn’t imagine why everyone was so upset! She approaches every task as an adventure.

It has been an entertaining and intense ride through this parental phase. I find my head boggled by the express nature of it all. We’ve entered phase 2 now. I’m not sure what to call it yet, but I’m finding it similar in many ways to the birth-20 era….so far. It’s early in the game though, and I can vividly remember staring into the sweet face of my first born child, silent and sleeping soundly in my arms, and thinking, Awwwww…..how can something so perfect ever do anything upsetting to anyone? (Add SFX- hysterical laughter)

Samhain

2004-10-27T13:44:00.000-05:00

The moon is full, Samhain is right around the corner, AND we get a full lunar eclipse too! It's quite like getting a cherry on top to me! We're moving into Scorpio, so hopefully everyone has their emotional body armor on, or somewhere nearby. It'll be a good time to practice "letting things roll of your shoulders." Things are bound to get a bit intense. It's a great excuse to plan a party or a get-together to celebrate the holiday. There's nothing better to lighten the spirit, than to dress up in your favorite Halloween ghoul-wear, invite the friends over, relax and have fun! Take advantage of any reason to get together with the peeps, it's going to be a long Maine winter once again. Thank goodness us "Mainahs" are raised to deal with these minor inconveniences!

classification essay reaction

2004-10-25T07:24:00.000-05:00

Writing, learning new formats in which to write, and rewriting. I really didn't realize that there is such a process to follow. I'm sure I learned it all before, in an english class from times long gone, but I forgot. It's been sorta fun...I guess. I did find that just writing straight ahead was a lot easier. I liked the classification essay much better than the cause essay. The boundries were still there, but I ignored them. Not on purpose mind you, I just didn't think to apply the same rules that we learned from writing the first one.

Authors

2004-10-19T13:34:00.000-05:00

My family and extended family is full of them. Mostly journals and newspaper articles, but a real novelist as well. I'm still waiting for a copy of his first BIG published work. It's called "The Lost Village" and it's by Mark Hall. It's so exciting ! He has also published a few short stories, and his second published work will be out soon. It's a collection of short stories. I got to see the art for the book jacket last weekend... Incredible....I can't remember the title, I was too impressed with the art work to notice any title, something about an opera. It's a collection of short stories, in the horror genre I think. The lost village is horror too. I'll do a critique on my blog when I'm finished!

classification essay intro 2

2004-10-15T11:17:00.001-05:00

They all bounced excitedly from tree to tree checking the deliciousness of each apple gene pool. Finally, the unmatchable two weeks out of every autumn were here, and the trees were dripping with ripe, luscious, juicy fruit. Time to experience once again, what fresh tastes like. Mac’s, Cortland’s and Granny’s, the top three picks, and each a different favorite for everyone in our apple picking party. I, on the other hand, make a direct beeline for the furthest tree in the orchard. My only ideal apple requirement is taste, and the furthest tree is where I’ve always found it. Everyone else meandered through the rows, checking a few from each tree, discussing important criteria like size, depth of redness and absence of redness. The boys all seem to head for the biggest apples, taste is somewhat important, but size is of the most significance to them. The girls are looking for overall appearance, as they will be displayed in a delightful basket in the kitchen for as long as the fruit flies stay away. The little ones only care about climbing the trees. Getting the apples from the highest branch is their quest. Amazing! Who knew that the flavor of the apple is not the ultimate deliberation when choosing the perfect pomme.

classification essay intro 1

2004-10-15T11:17:00.000-05:00

I was on a mission. The same mission I undertake every October at apple picking time. Upon entering the orchard, I make my way unfalteringly to the last row, the last tree, the furthest apple, on the furthest branch. I pluck it without hesitation and bite. I have to say, no matter which orchard we’re picking from, that is where the best apples are. I fill my bag knowing without a doubt that I will bake my pies and turnovers and they will be superb. The apple picking party with me is sauntering slowly through the rows scrutinizing each tree along the way. They pick a few from each, considering some aspects, such as type, color and size. The boys all seem to head for the biggest apples, taste is somewhat important, but size is of the most significance to them. The girls are looking for overall appearance, as they will be displayed in a delightful basket in the kitchen for as long as the fruit flies stay away. The little ones only care about climbing the trees. Getting the apples from the highest branch is their quest. Amazing! Who knew that the flavor of the apple is not the ultimate deliberation when choosing the perfect pomme.

Attitude

2004-10-14T15:13:00.000-05:00

It's really not the greatest living situation in the world, but a lot of people choose to live downtown. For whatever reason, it appeals to a large number of people. All ages, backgrounds and social classes. There are some definite drawbacks, like parking, or lack of. Early morning noise from construction workers or utility people working on street lights or various other downtown stuff. It's loud! Well, most learn to deal with it, and if you work nights, downtown living really isn't for you. This morning was one of those when the jack-hammer-holding guy was jacking for all he was worth. A whole team of construction types doing something to the street light in front of the apartment building. I was grateful that they waited to start after 9 am, that's not typical at all. There are many occasions, even on weekends, when they are at it by 7am....Anyway...one of the tenants on the 3rd floor, apparently threw a bucket of water, out his window, on the workers. Now get a visual...here's this unsuspecting electrician type, with each hand grasping large bundles of wiring from the signal light, looking up, dripping wet. A look of sheer terror in his eyes. He didn't dare to move. 220 thousand volts, man was he lucky, just wasn't his day I guess. The police came and went to the suspect apartment to speak with the tenant and you'll never guess....pure denial! He hadn't done it! Didn't know what we were talking about! Meanwhile the officer went to the window and pointed out the soaked windowsill and the stream of water coursing down the side of the building. The officer was calm and asked him to take responsibility for what he had done....Yeah right. More denial. The officer said "O.K. we can play this your way...I'll be back with a summons for assault. Not a good day for the guy in 302.

long weekends

2004-10-12T10:37:00.000-05:00

Another long weekend gone...just like that. It's amazing how fast time flies when the homework is all caught up, the workplace closes for the holiday and the kids have their own things to do. We had some adventure time. A nice drive through the state doing the leaf peeping thing. Lots of pictures. There's a place not too far from here that is a bit of a hike, but once you're there, it's like standing on top of the state. You can see for miles and miles. Lakes and valleys and the foliage is at its peak! Whether from Maine or from away, Autumn is the most beautiful time to be here.

writing the Isearch stuff

2004-10-08T07:36:00.000-05:00

After completing the first 3 sections of the Isearch, I've realized that they are not complete at all. A work in progress as they say. Always improve-able I'm sure. Being from the "Old school," I wrote everything out long hand, then re-wrote them in a Microsoft word program. I passed them in and learned that they also needed to be posted on this blog site. I spent over an hour typing the background section on my blog, then lost the internet connection, and yes, lost all of it. I went on to something else, steaming and fretting. My daughter came by later and I asked her if there were an easier way to move the writing from Microsoft word to the blog. She sat down and within 30 seconds had published all three sections on my blog. Amazing. I am an idiot.

Classification essays

2004-10-08T07:31:00.000-05:00

I read the 4 examples of classification essays from the link on the faculty page. Interesting I guess. I particularly enjoyed the one about bugs. That's all I have to say about that.

SEARCHING

2004-10-07T11:36:00.000-05:00

It sounds like the title to a really great piece of poetry but alas....It is not. Merely a blog to post on the topic of searching, or researching, I'm not sure there's much of a difference. Regardless, I've done a fair share of it. I'm a learner, as we refer to people like me in my family, most are teachers of one sort or another. Not me! I am the question asker of the clan. The student. Always have been. I never got past the "age of 4 -Why stage." I have no interest in doing anything with the information I have acquired, I just like to have it. Stored somewhat neatly in my uncluttered-as-possible brain. Lots of it, useless trivia for the most part. Pick a subject, any subject, and I guarantee I know SOMETHING about it! If I can't find a shred of information anywhere in my memory, I become anxious, annoyed and a bit excited about the quest of yes...seeking more information! woo-hoo!!! ( Now I just have to figure out what to do with it)

Columbus Day

2004-10-07T09:25:00.000-05:00

EEEEK! Even though I truly appreciate a day off from school and work, the whole concept of a day celebrating the life of a sub-Human like good ol' Chris Columbus makes me Ill. Who came up with the idea of a day just for him? He murdered, raped, assaulted and robbed the original Americans. Lots of them. Burned their homes, stole their land, and systematically disposed of entire communities all over America! Hmmm...Then He abducted the pretty ones and took them to Europe where they died shortly after their arrival because of diseases they had never been exposed to....Let's celebrate! Maybe even a parade!?

lookin' at blogs

2004-10-06T13:17:00.000-05:00

I've been wandering my way around the blog sites, both student blogs as well as some from all over the world. The most fun so far are the ones where foreigners are using the blog as a tool to learn English. It's very funny. Things like, "I am beach going day this. Go you beach please? " Too cute! I am also enjoying the responses to the national news events like the debates and hurricanes. It's nice to be able to read only what I'm interested in, then discard as easily as that, and no-ones feelings get hurt! It has taken me awhile to see even the slightest amount of value in the blog. I've found some. Yay.

cause essay "guts"

2004-09-29T11:39:00.000-05:00

What if she meets some not-so-nice people? She's so trusting and naive, a perpetrators dream. When she was little, I was so afraid she'd be kidnapped. My social butterfly, she would talk to anyone, so of course I stepped up my defenses, always the watchful mother. I tried to teach her how to spot the "bad guys." I hope I taught her enough.

Will she call me every day? At least every other? I've worked so hard at this fine example of a mother/daughter relationship. It scares me to death to think of not being one of the biggest parts of her life. I tried to show her how to be one of the "good guys." I hope I showed her enough.

Then there were all of those skinned knees, broken hearts and flat tires. Coming to her rescue. Felling her pain and knowing that my help came from just being there for her. I hope I cared enough.

reaction to writing cause essay.....that way.

2004-09-29T07:18:00.000-05:00

well, I'm sure there is some logical explanation that any ordinary, half-witted essay writer would figure out all on their own, but, (she writes with a tilt of her head) I don't get it. Perhaps I'm never going to get it. When I started writing the first section, I thought, cool, smaller assignment, quicker to complete, maybe I'll like this. I love puzzles and this could be considered a sort of puzzle....right? No. Too disjointed, the picture is fuzzy. Somewhat like putting a square peg in a....well you get the idea. Hated it.

outro for cause essay

2004-09-27T14:07:00.000-05:00

There seems to be an era in each persons life, a time of abandon. Getting by on a wing and a prayer. A need to get through life's lessons with a "Whew! I made it!" And you prove to yourself that you did it with sheer determination....and the best part? Knowing that your Mother would be there for you no matter what, no matter how foolish or insane things may appear to the rest of the world, your number one advocate would be waiting, ready to pick up any stray pieces. I don't have any reason to be afraid for her. I taught her well and she has nothing to prove to me, only to herself.

Ahhh.... other students blogs.....

2004-09-24T13:24:00.000-05:00

blogs by any other name.....journals, random thoughts, rantings, stories...A lot of nonsense to me. I'm sure the practice one receives from a daily dose of blogging is helpful to a writer, but I still can't seem to find much for reason in reading other peoples blogs. It's a luxury of time that most students can't afford. Especially us "Non-Traditionals" who work full time, go to classes full time and have a couple of kids, house, pets, homework, chores etc... But o.k., I read a few. I'm still searching for a point, I always seem to require a point. silly me.

I search reaction

2004-09-24T11:45:00.000-05:00

Somewhat more practical of an assignment than a typical research paper. At least there is some personal value involved, and the information is more interesting to search for than an assigned topic. I'm looking forward to it.....no really I am!

cause essay 1

2004-09-24T11:17:00.000-05:00

"Fort Fairfield!" I shrieked, "Why would you want to move to Fort Fairfield? There's nothing there but a few tired potato farmers and a broken down tractor! Where are you planning to work? There aren't any jobs! Do you know what it's like in the county during the winter?" I could hear myself, but I couldn't seem to stop. I went on and on and my beautiful and confident daughter just stood there with her head down, waiting...for me to mercifully...stop. "I know mum, but have you ever been there? It's beautiful! And there are some jobs, nothing great, but I'm only 19. I can waitress, or work in the hardware store. I have some awesome new friends from there and they said I could move in with them. I just want a fresh start." By this time, she was fighting to keep the tears at bay. She stated her case with some level of maturity, I'd have to give her that. "Please mum, try to understand." She pleaded. I sat down and it felt like I weighed a thousand pounds. The time had come. Snuck right up from behind and blind-sided me. BAM! I needed to be the mother now more than ever. She was being so irrational...for her, yet she was calling me the irrational one and begging to know why?! I knew why! I was afraid for her, I was afraid of losing her and I was afraid of not being right there for her when she needed me.

cause essay 2

2004-09-24T07:13:00.000-05:00

I dreaded answering. The phone had been ringing off the hook for days and I knew it was just more questions from Jades friends that I didn't have the answers to.
"Have you heard from her?"
"Not yet." I'd answer quietly. I felt like I was losing my daughter. We'd been so close and here I was playing defense for her so she could get through whatever this was. Her friends were feeling the rejection too, getting ticked off because she wasn't letting them know what was up. I was just hurt. Knowing where your kid is mentally is so much more important than knowing where she is physically. I knew she was in Fort Fairfield, but I couldn't figure out why? She'd made some new friends and they seemed really nice but that didn't explain much. I knew she'd come see me eventually, once she got her head on straight. I needed to be the mom now more than ever. She was being so irrational...for her, yet she was calling me the irrational one and begging to know why?! I knew why! I was afraid for her, I was afraid of losing her and I was afraid of not being there for her when she needed me.

Pumpkin Soup

2004-09-22T15:31:00.000-05:00

2 tbls. oil
1 large onion chopped
2 celery stalks chopped
2 garlic cloves minced
1 tbls. minced ginger
1 tbls. sugar
cook in oil until vegetables are tender then add:
2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. turmeric
1/4 tsp. allspice
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
Add:
2 peeled and cubed potatoes or yams
4 cups of peeled and cubed pumpkin
6 cups of basic vegetable stock(canned is fine)
bring to a boil, then lower heat and simmer partially covered for 20 minutes
puree half of the soup in a blender then add back to pan
mmmm......mmmm
There's nothing better on a cool fall day than homemade pumpkin soup

Cats

2004-09-21T13:30:00.000-05:00

The opinion is typically very strong. Either you hate them or you love them. I happen to love them....A LOT! I have 9 in all. 7 live with me, and 2 with my ex, but I still consider them mine too. He just got primary custody. I visit. I never intended to have 9 cats mind you. Fate just stepped in on a few occasions and left new kitties in my care. I take them in and foster them, get them the vet attention they need, then adopt them out. The best story is Charlie. She (well she looked like a boy kitty!) showed up on my doorstep, with a partially torn away zip-lock baggy over her head, secured with an elastic. Most of an ear was also torn away and she was pregnant. That was almost 4 years ago. She's still up for adoption, but I'm not too heart broken that she hasn't been taken. They say you're either a cat person or a dog person. I've only had a few dogs in my lifetime, I can't imagine having 9 at one time! I guess that would make me a cat person.

Autumn Equinox

2004-09-17T10:43:00.000-05:00

It has slowly crept upon us yet again. Time to mow the lawn for the last time until spring rolls around, Yay! Carving pumpkins and picking apples. Leaves falling, crisp breezes blowing, sweaters coming out of storage trunks. The harvest moon, cornfield hide-n-seek, making relish, and apple sauce. Pickled beets by the gallon..... just for me. New wooly socks, hiking boots and picking potatoes. Libra, Scorpio and Sagittarius. A season of endings. A season of beginnings.

Jump!

2004-09-16T15:38:00.000-05:00

The epitome of attention seeking behavior, there was a man in downtown Bangor today, who was standing on a roof apparently threatening to jump. Hmmmmm....the building is only 3 or 4 stories, I would imagine that, unless he landed on his head, he'd just end up with a couple of femurs jammed into his abdomen. Now there's a nice visual. There were various city personnel standing by to...I don't know...catch him? Lots of pedestrians standing around, just watching. We are such a peculiar race. Nothing better to do on a sunny Thursday afternoon than to watch some tormented suicidal bastard stand on a roof top and pace like a caged animal. Trapped I suppose, trapped somewhere in his head. He didn't jump. I wonder how many of the passers-by were disappointed. Who's more mentally ill?

Economic slow down?

2004-09-14T15:25:00.000-05:00

Do you suppose? It would make sense. It's time, with a presidential election and all this threat of terrorist activity, people are scared. I've studied the buying trends and over the past year, people seem to be spending all of their saved earnings on stuff that they've "always wanted." I'm guessing that the thought on everyone's mind is "Why not? I've earned it, and with the way things are going, I may as well spend it now. We may not be around.....soon." We're becoming more and more fragile. Maybe the terrorists have already reached their goal. No more need for bombs.

Person

2004-09-13T14:11:00.000-05:00

He sits sloth-like on the cold, cast iron bench across the busy Main Street. I try not to look as he picks his nose and his teeth, usually in that order. He pulls at his beard with one hand as he chews the fingernails on the other, then spits them on the sidewalk. Sometimes, he catches me watching him through my office window, he stands and tips his hat to show me his fine manners as he turns to shuffle away.

another road trip

2004-09-12T15:52:00.000-05:00

Today our travels found us in western Maine. Central really. We were looking for a little pond, and some land that is for sale on the pond. Can you say Swamp? Big swamp. And the only access to the land is by boat, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, our camp now is water access only, but this place was virtually inaccessible. So on we went, in and around Dexter, through a Norman Rockwell painting or two. There are some really beautiful places in this state. Back country roads, where the people standing in their yards, watching us drive by, Wave. People don't wave everywhere. I bet most Mainers don't even know that.

A thing

2004-09-12T15:26:00.000-05:00

Hour upon hour of cultivation. Grapes and wildflowers, vegetables and annuals of every color and size. My garden, my prize. A place of pure relaxation. Chaotic order I like to call it. Wild yet tame. Plants with names like Potentilla and Artemisia, pruned and primped. Grape vines that are older than I am, an apple tree older than that. Plants that will come back for me next year and some....that will not. Now is the season to cover and protect until the sun comes around again.

the little darlings

2004-09-10T14:47:00.000-05:00

I can remember when I'd sigh with exasperation "I can't wait for these kids to grow up" And I'd huff, then turn on my heel and hide away somewhere until the sibling scuffles ceased and desisted to another part of the house....Now here I am dealing with adult children, or almost adult. Some days are better than others. My eldest darling is nearly 20, knows it ALL, lives (exists) on her own, and remains to be a constant challenge. My youngest, nearly 17, and in the "suck up" stage of her teens, isn't too much of a challenge right NOW, but there certainly have been many hours spent...dealing. I want to point this moment of emotion out to anyone who cares...when they're little, it's all about little problems. When they're big....well, you know.

Ramblings of a middle-aged college student

2004-09-08T14:35:00.000-05:00

I've come to the conclusion that there are no conclusions. No ends, no completeness (a word)? No finishing. I thought I was done with college studies, and had no intentions of ever needing, or wanting, to go back. Yet here I am studying stuff and learning stuff I didn't think I'd ever give a hoot about. Business Law, computer ...StUfF...,Math and you guessed it! Blogs! It's still early in the game though, and I haven't learned all the new rules.... do you suppose there are a lot of new rules? Cliff notes maybe? Any advice from anyone?

Unique

2004-09-08T07:21:00.000-05:00

I've been described as unique. It's quite flattering actually. I like the word, it's fun to say, and I feel privileged to be referred to as such. "people like you march to the beat of your own drum" my mother always said. and that was usually followed with some encouraging words added like..."You're an individual!" "You don't WANT to be like everyone else do you?" And I would look down and slowly shake my head from side to side. "I guess not." I'd softly respond. But deep down inside, I did want to be like everyone else. I did. As I grew older, and somewhat wiser, I continued to be odd, and to do things at my own pace and in my own way. I make my own music with flutes and key and voice. I use acrylic paint to put on canvas a collection of shape and color. I prefer my time spent with cats...7 of them. I learn stuff every day, sometimes in a class, most times in living. I've spent my career years counseling teens who've been labeled with things like "Obsessive" and "Socially Stunted" and "Unique" It's all part of just being. When everyone can just BE, the world will truly be a better place.
Alt. end1 I hope that they can come away with the security I did, and understand that "Unique" is the only way to be.
Alt. end2 The only reason why labels "Suck" is because someone, somewhere said they do. Labels are what you make them, and They can always be turned into a good thing.

More about blogging

2004-09-07T10:37:00.000-05:00

I've been wandering my way around some blog sites, and It appears to be a gathering place for some pretty incredible writers. I've read stuff that made me laugh out loud, and some that has made me cry. There are some intense stories out there. It doesn't even matter if it's fact or fiction, it's unpresumptuous and fun to read.

Inventory/list/graf

2004-09-07T08:56:00.000-05:00

Work Space

A 2- line phone base with handset

A 1- line phone base with handset

A laptop

A legal size notepad

Phone message book

an organizer basket with 5 compartments

Post it notes

Pens and scissors

various types of tape

Personal items (chapstick, gum and sewing kit)

an assortment of hardware

tape dispenser

Stapler

paper clips

daily planner

a cookbook

a fruit basket with 1 lonely green apple

Add 1 upright human being with a smiling face and a professional phone presence and stir. Standard receptionist recipe! Everything organized and in it's place. It looks like this person either has way too much time on their hands, or they're suffering with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It could be a combination of both. Anyone who can do secretarial work is probably very focused and organized, and perhaps completely satisfied with where life is taking them. ....perhaps.

Maine U.S.A.

2004-09-05T19:17:00.000-05:00

It doesn't get much better than this folks! A gorgeous sunny day spent driving through northern Maine. Aroostook county ...Gods country( or Goddess )....The potato farm capital of the world. The leaves haven't started to change yet, that's when it's at it's most beautiful. We were due for a road trip adventure, and a break from the city life. Up through Lee, and Springfield. The Annual Springfield fair was in full swing, complete with tractor pulls and cowgirls! Then on up the road to Danforth, Houlton and Fort Fairfield. Million dollar views all around. It's interesting that most people from"away" think of Maine as Kennebunkport or Bar Harbor, both beautiful places without a doubt, but for anyone who wants to experience the real Maine? It's Aroostook and Washington Counties all the way!

blog blog blog!

2004-09-02T14:53:00.000-05:00

I can't seem to stop talking about it! Everyone I see, I ask them "So have you heard about blogging??" I love the responses.....
"Huh?" "What?" "doing it for a class you're taking?" "Is it legal?" "It sounds obscene!"
So far it's been....odd. It would be really cool if famous people blogged! (Is that even a form of the word yet?) I could read the blogging (or is it blogs?) of someone like President Bush or Stephen King...that would be fun! Maybe someday everyone will blog!.....maybe there will be an international bloggers directory!....It could be a way of life for us all!...One can only hope.

whew! another day!

2004-09-01T13:58:00.000-05:00

Well I've made it over the hump! Wednesday, "anything can happen" day. A lot has changed on the 'ol college campus since I was a young'un. I'm o.k. with the blogging thing now...it looked a lot more intimidating than it really is...cool. The 18-22 crowd seems to be a bit more focused on their studies than they were 10 or 20 years ago. It is the first week though, so we'll wait and see on that one. I've also noticed that along with that focus, there seems to be a lack of "friendly" faces. My daughter suggested that it's due to the fact that most college students' social life involves this...typing, or chatting. I'm encountering a whole college campus full of young people who have spent the last 4 or 5 years, or more, sitting at a computer chatting. (which I have no idea how to do) I chat with my friends. It involves facial expressions, laughter, body language, and lots of other visual and aural cues to elicit responses. I'm not saying that it's any better than the way to chat now, just a lot different, 'specially for an old broad like me. I'll adjust, but My My how things have changed. I smiled at a young lady I sat next to yesterday, and she looked scared...and there was no response other than to look down. Hmmm...I've worked in social services for years, studying behavior, and working to understand teens. I have a feeling I'll be learning more at EMCC than I ever did in any group home.

worst teacher

2004-09-01T07:27:00.000-05:00

I recently relayed a memory to my mother about a geometry teacher I'd had in high school. I hated math, I hated Mr. Jenkins, I still do. I got kicked out of his class, and HE threw a book at ME! I spent years telling it just like that. I hated that man...how could he do that, throw a book at my head! It almost hit me! If he did that now he'd be in trouble! He was THE worst teacher of all time.....and he smelled bad too. Welllll....the truth be told, I was actually quite a smart ass as a teenager, no really. I can't even remember what it is I must have said to the man to get him that angry. It must have been a good one...I bet he remembers.

blogging?

2004-08-31T09:42:00.000-05:00

This is kinda stressing me out! Blogging for goodness sake, What in hell is that? I went through the steps, actually "posted a blog." Well aren't I truly moving on to the 21st century! Here I am, going back to college after a very long break (nevermind how long). I was excited to take an English comp class again, I used to be a fair writer, and I thought..Yay! easy! I've spent the entire morning today, and most of yesterday afternoon browsing the Blogspot. Maybe I'm just too stuck in the "Do you have a computer yet?" era. That's where I'm from. If I knew how to post a picture, It would be one of me...kicking and screaming as I'm being pulled out of that nice, comfortable era. I guess I'll learn.

Hands assignment

2004-08-30T13:48:00.000-05:00

It began when I was just a small child. I was told that ones hands are the canvas of their spirit. Palm reading was thought of as a life skill, and we practiced as one would practice the piano. "It's not a game." Grandmother would say..."Not something to play around with." I took her very seriously, and although I read many a palm, I rarely shared my readings with the palm owner. When I became an adult, I was asked if I would like to have my own palm read, something I had repeatedly refused as a child. I refused and the reader laughed at me, knowing that it was a specialty of mine to read palms. "I'd rather be surprised!" I told her.
"I don't want a syllabus to my life. I'll keep my hands strong and clean, and let Fate take care of the rest."
"Are you scared of what you may hear?" She asked me
"It's like peeking at a present." I told her " So tempting, but once you know what's in the package...the gift is over. No more surprise, no more anticipation....no more expression. I love surprises. I love to giggle with excitement as I open that necklace that I mentioned two months ago that I wanted. Those reactions are impossible to fake, and I wouldn't want to"